


When The World Ends

by kripkeisgod



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-14
Updated: 2012-10-14
Packaged: 2017-11-16 07:59:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kripkeisgod/pseuds/kripkeisgod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a simple demon exorcism goes wrong Sam is left physically and emotionally beaten. The demon played on his every insecurity over his relationship with his brother, so now it's up to Dean to show Sam exactly how he really feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When The World Ends

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Based on a prompt by imogen_lily. Also my first Wincest fic yay! Please review and tell me what you think. :)
> 
> A/N 2: So this is the first of the one-shot prompts that I asked for when I wrote the last chapter of Bitter Trust. I originally intended for this to be a couple of thousand words at the most but it kinda turned into a monster fic. I'll be posting one of these fics in-between chapters of Bitter Trust until they're all finished. Hope you enjoy.:)

“ _Come on, we only have an hour before we have to pick Ben up from baseball._ _”_

 

“ _I've never had this dream before . . . stop looking at me like that._ _”_

 

“ _Sorry._ _”_

 

“ _Dean . . . I love you._ _”_ _*_

 

Sam slowly came back to consciousness, as he did he instinctively reached out a hand to the other side of the king-sized bed only to find it empty . . . again. Cold too, so obviously no-one had occupied it in a while – but then, that was becoming the norm. Blinking his eyes open Sam fully confirmed what he already knew. Dean was already up and gone. Sighing Sam turned over onto his back to stare aimlessly at the ceiling.

 

When Dean had first come to him asking if they could try again, go back to the way things were between them before, before hell, Lisa, the apocalypse, Ruby – before all of that. Go back to when their relationship meant more to the two of them than anything else in the world, when they were not just brothers and hunting partners, but lovers too. When Dean had asked him that, Sam had been thrilled – he'd never stopped loving Dean and the years spent with him but not really _with_ him were the hardest of Sam's life. He wasn't sure it was possible for him to be any happier than he was in that moment when Dean confessed that Sam was the only person he'd ever truly loved. Of course, feeling the exact same way about his brother, Sam had believed him. Only now he wasn't so sure. Lately Dean had become . . . distant – cold almost.

 

Sam never knew what his brother was thinking anymore when before he could read the older Winchester like a book. Over the past few weeks it seemed that Dean had begun to close himself off from Sam more and more, shutting him out almost completely. Dean was now always the first to rise in the mornings, sloping off to procure breakfast long before Sam woke and at night he'd started leaving Sam to his own devices in the latest motel room they'd hired while he went off to whatever bar was closest. If it were possible for the state of their 'relationship' to be any worse than that, then it was, during the day. Their recent conversations were . . . stilted at best, punctuated with the most awkward silences – and Sam couldn't even remember the last time they'd had sex.

 

He wanted to put it down to stress, say that Dean was simply agitated after everything that had happened with Castiel and add to that the on-going game of cat-and-mouse with the newly-escaped leviathans on top . . . but Sam wasn't stupid, he knew there was more to it, that there was something else going on here and whatever it was he knew Dean would never tell him.

 

It was thoughts like this that gave rise to the dream he'd freshly woken from. He knew that anything that was between Dean and Lisa was long over – she didn't even remember him anymore thanks to Cas's intervention – but he still couldn't help thinking back to the case with the dream-root user a few years back. That small glimpse inside his brother's head had shown him enough to make him doubt whether Dean was truly happy with him. Was Dean really still in love with Lisa? Was he just settling for Sam because he know knew that he could never have her?

 

At that moment the motel room door opened and Dean appeared, carrying a bag which presumably held their breakfast. Barely even casting a glance in Sam's direction he placed the bag on the small table and said:

 

“You still on bed? Get up, get dressed and get in the car. We've got a lead on the demon body-hopping all over town. Pretty sure we've got a definite location for where it's gonna be tonight, but we need to do a supply run first.”

 

Sam sighed and moved to comply, all the time trying to pinpoint the exact moment when Dean had become less of a lover, less of a brother and more of a drill sergeant.

 

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

 

The demon was rogue, that much was clear. Ever since Crowley had taken charge of the pit he'd strived to keep his minions less feral barbarians and more organized henchmen. It would seem that one demon wasn't happy to bow down before his new king's rules though. No, this wasn't a mook working under Crowley's orders, this was pure strategic savage. This demon seemed to have a penchant for causing as much pain and misery as possible, so to do that it had been possessing residents of a small town on the outskirts of Iowa, forcing them to watch while it slowly tortured and killed the person closest to them with their own hands and they were utterly powerless to stop it. As soon as it was finished the demon jumped ship to start the cycle all over again, leaving a trail of bloodied dead bodies, devastated to the point of mental-break ex-hosts and baffled police officers wondering how such a sudden and violent spate of murders could have erupted in their quiet town.

 

Dean was spot-on with his hint that the demon would hit-up the local bar that night. Turns out that the bartender had recently got engaged to his high-school sweetheart, making him a prime target for possession. The traces of sulphur left on the window of the back-door were evidence enough that this guy was next on the hit-list. They'd managed to get the jump on him as he went through to the back-room (luckily before he could escape to go home and carve up his new fiancé). Getting him strapped to the chair beneath the devils trap Dean had sprayed on the ceiling earlier in the day proved easy – getting him to shut the hell up was proving much harder.

 

“Sam! You might wanna think about sending this asshole back to hell before the cops turn up!”

 

“Aww, what's the matter Dean?” it mocked as blue eyes flicked black. “All this time on the road and you're still flunking Latin? Shame on you, making little brother do all the work.”

 

“You can keep your pie-hole shut you murdering douche. Sam!”

 

“But it's true isn't it?” Turning it's attention to Sam the demon continued. “You are left with all the work aren't you? I mean come on – who does all the research while Mr anger-management goes out and feeds his alcoholic tenancies? Who is always left to finish any part of a hunt that requires more than just brute-strength, a firearm and a bad attitude? Pretty one-sided partnership if you ask me – fifty words of Latin shouldn't be too much to ask, but some how with Dean it is.”

 

“Sam! Don't stand there and listen to it! Get rid of it!”

 

Taking a deep breath Sam began the exorcism rite.

 

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. . .”

 

The demon began to laugh.

 

“Oh, did I forget to show you my party trick?”

 

The demon began to incant, the words muffled but familiar, at some point, to late to stop the rapid flow of words, it became clear that the demon was using the same incantation that Meg had when she'd possessed Sam all those years ago. A sickening crack was heard as the ceiling split right through thee middle of the devil's trap, breaking its spell. Rising to its feet the demon gloated:

 

“Much better. You know, you Winchesters should really stop underestimating us.”

 

With a wave of its hand the demon pinned Dean to the far wall with unseen force before lunging at Sam, wrapping its hand around his throat and lifting the younger Winchester into the air with supernatural strength. As Sam grabbed onto the hand clutching his throat and fought for air the demon seemed to survey him in a state of semi-bored fascination.

 

“So this is it? The great Winchesters, hunters extrodinare. The very same Winchesters who single-handedly took down Azazel, Lilith, Alistair and Lucifer. We're taught to fear you – but just look at you now. You're nothing, you're human – just a couple of pathetic meat-sacks with too much stolen luck on your side, and that luck ran out the second you stepped foot in this town.”

 

The demon squeezed it's hand around Sam's throat tighter, crushing the man's windpipe before throwing him into the wall opposite and advancing on the crumpled body. Reaching its target the demon knelt over's Sam's prone form.

 

Dean's words rang out like a gunshot as the demon turned to look at his helplessly pinned form, a smile on its face.

 

“Get the hell away from him! If you touch him I swear to God . . .”

 

With little more than a nod of its head the demon took away the older Winchester's voice, cutting off whatever threat he was about to make.

 

Looking back towards its previous goal the demon saw that while still winded and unable to talk, Sam was still managing to cast worried eyes in the direction of his brother.

 

Fresh laughter erupted from it causing Sam's attention to refocus on it and his current situation.

 

“Pathetic.” It sneered. “Even now you're still worried about him over yourself, even now you're still allowing him to walk all over you – haven't you figured it out yet? He doesn't care about you! Not the same way you care about him.”

 

The demon once again reached out a hand and wrapped it around Sam's throat while it reared its other one back and launched a powerful fist into its target's face.

 

“If he loved you so much then why were his happiest moments spent with Lisa? Why did he move on with her so quickly after you sacrificed yourself to the pit? He didn't even give you a second thought for a year until he absolutely had to – after all, having you turn up at his door is kinda hard to ignore.”

 

The demon punched again, causing a deep split to appear in Sam's bottom lip, blood gushed from the fresh wound.

 

“ . . . but he tried though didn't he? Even after he knew you were back from hell he tried to forget you. He did everything in his power to stay away, to keep his cushy new life with Lisa and Ben. After all, with them he could at least pretend he was normal, normal girlfriend that's not related to him, normal kid – so what if it's not his biologically, it's still more than you could ever give him. He only came back to you when he had to, when she moved on because he couldn't. Have you ever wondered how much he resents you for that? For not being her? For taking her away from him?”

 

The grip on Sam's throat tightened as the demon threw yet another punch, revelling in the sound of bone crunching as the blow caught Sam's nose, a fresh torrent of blood bursting from his nostrils.

 

“And it's not just her is it Sam? It's not just Lisa he'd rather have over you, it's really . . . just about anyone isn't it? I mean, you try to tell yourself that he loves you, that's he's with you so everything else is o.k. . . . but it's not is it? If he really loved you then why does he still go out every night and flirt with everything that moves? Oh, he's loyal I'll give you that, he's never strayed past flirting while he's been with you – but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to, and if he still wants to . . . what does that say about how he really feels about you?”

 

Once again the demon launched an attack of fists upon Sam's face, by now the younger Winchester was beginning to look like a bloodied mess, the red flow covered most of his face like some gory mask making his features almost recognizable.

 

“Truth it that he's ashamed of you. He only stays with you because he's scared that if he doesn't you'll go off the deep-end again – I mean let's face it your track-records not exactly good is it? If he leaves what's to stop you going back to the demon blood? What's to stop you becoming evil? That's the reason he stays, that's the only reason he stays. I mean come on, the guy is obsessed with the idea that hunters or not, one day the worlds gonna end bloody, and probably because he's looking forward to it, looking forward to the time when he'll finally be free of you. When the world finally does end do you really think he'll look back on his time with you and think 'time well spent'? Do you really think that if he could choose anyone to spend his final moments with it would be you? Don't delude yourself. He doesn't care about you. He doesn't love you.”

 

Sam was near the point of blacking out both from the pain of his injuries and the severe lack of oxygen he was managing to force through his restricted windpipe into his deprived lungs. Yet, possibly by hunter's instinct alone, as the demon reared back for another blow Sam managed to reach the flask of holy water he's dropped when the creature had freed itself. After a few tries he was able to get a good grip on the flash and brought it up to splash the contents over his tormentor.

 

The demon howled in pain and immediately dropped his hold of Sam as steam began to rise from the area the blessed water had touched. Turning back to his victim with the intention of revenge, the demon stopped when it felt the cool blade of the demon-killing knife at its throat. Dean Winchester pressed the blade harder into the skin of its neck causing a shallow wound that made the demon wince, he moved closer behind the demon and leaned his head down so that his mouth was close by the demon's ear.

 

“If you weren't possessing some poor innocent bastard right now I'd slit your throat myself you son of a bitch. Now, as much as I really want to be the one to kill you I'm not going to murder your victim to do it. Instead I’m going to send you back where you belong, and I'm sure the big man on campus already knows all about what you've been getting up to, I hear he likes to make an example of demons that go against his orders . . . say hi to Crowley for me.

Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, et secta diabolica,   
Ergo draco maledicte et sectio omnis legio diabolica   
Ergo draco maledicte et legio secta diabolica

Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine.   
Ut Ecclésiam tuam secúra tibi fácias servire libertáte, te rogámus, audi nos.”

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

After ensuring that the demon's last host was o.k. Dean had bundled Sam into the impala and broke speed limits getting back to the motel room.

 

Once inside Dean began looking for the first aid kit, cursing up a storm when he couldn't retrieve it as quick as he wanted while Sam stood in the middle of the room, feeling the blood dying on his face, lost in thought over what the demon had said. He knew that demons lie and that they couldn't be trusted as far a you could throw them of course . . . but this one had really got to him. It saw every single one of his insecurities and it used them against him. He tried to block it out and concentrate on whatever Dean was saying to him but he found that he just couldn't do it.

 

“Sam, do you have any idea where the first aid kit is?”

 

_If he loved you so much then why were his happiest moments spent with Lisa?_

 

“I know you're the one that got bashed up but I could really use your help here . . .”

 

_with them he could at least pretend he was normal, normal girlfriend that's not related to him, normal kid_ _–_ _so what if it's not his biologically, it's still more than you could ever give him._

 

“Sam!”

 

_he's never strayed past flirting while he's been with you_ _–_ _but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to._

 

“Sam are you even hearing me?”

 

_He only stays with you because he's scared that if he doesn't you'll go off the deep-end again . . . When the world finally does end do you really think he'll look back on his time with you and think 'time well spent'?_

 

“Sam are you o.k.?”

 

_He doesn't love you._

 

“Sammy, hey, snap out of it.”

 

_He doesn't love you._

 

Sam jerked back to the present when Dean grabbed his arm.

 

“Sam are you alright, you fazed out for a while there . . . did the demon hit head that hard?”

 

_He doesn't love you._

 

“It's fine.”

 

“Well we need to get it cleaned up as soon as anyway, you know head wounds are a bitch.”

 

As he said it Dean had already begun to dab Sam's bloodies face with a wet cloth . . . and when had he even got that? Sam must've been more out of it than he thought.

 

_He doesn't love you._

 

“Why do you even care?”

 

Dean paused his ministrations briefly at that.

 

“What?”

 

“I said, why do you even care?”

 

“Well I’m not gonna give you a list . . . what do you want, a poem?”

 

_He doesn't love you._

 

“No, I guess not . . . get off me I can do it myself.”

 

Sam pushed Dean's hand away and made to move towards the bathroom when Dean grabbed his wrist halting the movement.

 

“Is this about what the demon said . . . because you know none of it was true right?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Dammit, I thought you'd know . . . that you'd understand why . . . you know what – no. This isn't happening. This is exactly what the demon wants and It's not happening – I'm not letting it! You're so insistent on doing it yourself – fine, go wash the blood off your face and then get back in the car.”

 

“Where are we going . . .”

 

“Later – now clean up, it's a good thing that demon didn't leave anything that needed stitches or we'd have to postpone . . .”

 

“Postpone what?”

 

“Like I said – Later. Now are you going to get cleaned up or are you going to let me do it for you? Either way we're leaving in ten minutes.”

 

Confused Sam shook his wrist loose from Dean's grip and continued on towards the bathroom.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

 

Thirty minutes later the impala pulled up outside one of the fanciest hotels Sam had ever seen in his life.

 

“Dean, what are doing here?”

 

“What's it look like? We're staying here.”

 

“What? Are you insane? We can't afford to stay here!”

 

“No, but Richard Samborah can.”

 

Dean waved the phoney credit card triumphantly.

 

“I can't believe you're even still using that card.”

 

“Sammy, I explained this before – Bon Jovi rocks . . . on occasion, and on this occasion they're getting us into that hotel, so stop complaining.”

 

With that Dean was out of the impala and walking towards the front desk of the hotel before Sam could utter another word of protest.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The hotel room Dean had booked them into, much like everything else in the place, was beautiful. The bed that took up about a quarter of the space in the room was easily big enough to be a California king-sized. There was a fully stocked fridge and mini-bar (Both of which Dean was immensely pleased with), A huge T.V. With cable and the adjoining bathroom was almost as big as the room itself, containing a bath that was practically an indoor jacuzzi. Sam stood in the centre of the room and took in it's opulence. While on the one hand he was thrilled with Dean's 'little' treat, he was slightly wary as well. After all he was by no means used to the true luxury he was currently surrounded in and more worryingly, he had no idea why Dean had suddenly decided to bring them here. Deciding to leave the questioning until later and just enjoy himself for now, Sam placed his bag on the left side of the bed and made his way over to the mini-bar to grab a beer, as he did, he couldn't help but wonder at the odd, almost longing look Dean gave him as he passed by.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

Later that night as they were sat on the sofa in front of the hi-tech T.V. Sam decided that now was as good a time as any to bring up his questions.

 

“Dean?”

 

“Yeah Sammy?”

 

“Not that I don't love the hotel or appreciate it or anything, but . . . why are we here? Why suddenly splash out on something like this . . . I don't understand why you're doing this.”

 

Taking a deep breath Dean turned off the T.V. and turned to Sam, giving him his full attention.

 

“Sammy, you know I love you right?”

 

Sam hesitated for a moment before finally answering with an appeasing and unsure “Yes?”

 

Dean sighed again, this time in frustration.

 

“Except, no, you don't know do you? I always just assumed that whatever happened you'd just know that I loved you but you obviously don't – and I get it, that's my fault . . . I don't tell you enough, I don't show you enough just how much you mean to me . . . and the way I've been acting these past few months . . . god, it's a wonder you don't hate me – but there's a reason for it, I swear there is and I can't explain it right now but I swear I will . . . just give me some time o.k? As for all of this – well, you of all people know how hard it is for me to talk about my . . . feelings, so I figured I'd show them instead. I know I'm not the easiest person in the world to be with but I do love you – everything that demon said was bullshit, you are the only person I've ever felt this way for and I'm gonna do everything in my power to prove that to you, to show you what you mean to me . . . will you let me?”

 

The uncharacteristic nervousness in Dean's voice ensured Sam answered positively and when Dean leaned forward and pressed his lips to Sam's in a kiss so loving and tender that it took the younger man's breath away, he could almost believe that what Dean had said was true.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The next morning when Sam woke he instinctively knew that once again he was in bed alone. Resigning himself to another day of pretending that everything was fine he rolled over to the side of the bed. Opening his eyes however he spotted something wholly unexpected. Sitting on the side-table only an inch or two next to Sam's face was a single red rose, sitting up Sam saw that underneath that there was a neatly folded note. Quickly snatching up the paper Sam opened it and began to read.

 

 

‘ _Should I fall out of love, my fire in the light_

_To chase a feather in the wind_

_Within the glow that weaves a cloak of delight_

_There moves a thread that has no end._

 

_For many hours and days that pass ever soon_

_the tides have caused the flame to dim_

_At last the arm is straight, the hand to the loom_

_Is this to end or just begin?_

 

_All of my love, all of my love,_

_All of my love to you._

_All of my love, all of my love,_

_All of my love to you._

 

_The cup is raised, the toast is made yet again_

_One voice is clear above the din_

_Proud Arianne one word, my will to sustain_

_For me, the cloth once more to spin_

 

_All of my love, all of my love,_

_All of my love to you._

_All of my love, all of my love,_

_All of my love to you._

 

_Yours is the cloth, mine is the hand that sews time_

_his is the force that lies within_

_Ours is the fire, all the warmth we can find_

_He is a feather in the wind_

 

_All of my love, all of my love,_

_All of my love to you._

_All of my love, all of my love,_

_All of my love to you._ _’ **_

 

“. . Led Zeppelin lyrics, really Dean?”

 

“Well I ain't no Shakespeare . . . that's the closest to poetry you're going to get off me. Besides that song is romantic as hell - Robert delivers it and don't even try to deny it.”

 

Looking up Sam saw Dean stood at the foot of the bed with a fond smile on his face, a room service breakfast tray held in his hands.

 

“I know, I know, It's a complete cliché but I got you breakfast in bed . . . I even ordered extra helpings of your rabbit food.”

 

The whole gesture was undeniably sweet and romantic, but the poisonous side of Sam's mind that still echoed the demons words swam in doubt. Did Dean ever do this for Lisa? Was he just trying to get Sam on side?

 

Somehow Dean had made it back into the bed without Sam noticing for now he was pulling Sam into his arms, breakfast tray forgotten on the side-table as he said furiously. 

 

“No, never for Lisa.” Huh, Sam must've said that out-loud by mistake. “Just you, only ever for you.”

 

Pulling away from the comfort of Dean’s arms Sam swung his legs out of the side of the bed ensuring he was completely facing away from his brother before asking:

 

“How do I know that Dean, I mean you were with her for over a year - you really expect me to believe that all that time meant nothing to you, that you didn’t care for her, that you never once . . .”

 

“Sam, Sammy, hey, look at me.” Dean said gently as he placed his hand under the younger Winchester’s chin and turned his head so that Sam had no choice but to look at him - see the sincerity in his eyes as he continued. “Of course I cared about Lisa Sammy, but only ever as . . . I dunno, a friend I guess . . . The only reason I went to her in the first place was because you asked me to. It was pretty much your dying wish, and you know I was any good at saying no to you - in that situation, however unhappy I was with what you asked me to do, do you really think I was in any position to deny you anything? So many times in that year I wanted to just up and leave, but I couldn’t, I tried everything I could think of to bring you back - that was the only promise I could never keep, I needed you back with me so bad and every time I failed there was nothing I wanted more than to just end it, I didn’t want to live without you - I couldn’t live without you. What I was doing that year you were gone, that wasn’t living, it was existing. Every single day another part of me died and I had to fight harder and harder to find the will to carry on - the only thing that kept me going half the time was the thought of how disappointed you’d be if you knew I’d given up - I promised you that I would keep fighting, that I would stay with Lisa and Ben and that’s what I did . . . That’s what I did for you, because I love you, if it were up to me I would’ve drowned myself in a bottle of Jack within days of you jumping into that pit . . . . And then, when you came back, when you found me again, It was like I could breathe again, like the world made sense again - but I knew, I knew from the off that something was wrong. I never could’ve imagined that it was anything as big as you losing your soul but, the way you looked at me, it was different . . . It was like you didn’t really see me anymore, like you just didn’t love me anymore . . . You were so cold then and it hurt, I won’t deny that, it hurt that you didn’t seem to want me anymore, that whatever had happened to you in the pit had changed you, changed your feelings - so that’s why I stayed with Lisa . . . I guess knowing that I was still doing what you’d asked of me gave me some comfort, it reminded me of before, back when you used to care - and even though the thought of staying with Lisa, of accepting that we were over, of letting you go damn near killed me, I did it, I did it because you were back, you were alive, and in the end that was all that mattered. Turned out that I couldn’t stick with it for long though . . . Every time you called me to ask me to help on a case, it was like I just jumped at the chance - I didn’t want normal, I never did, I just wanted to be close to you even if you didn’t feel the same anymore. Then when Cas told us about you not having a soul, it was like there was light at the end of a tunnel, I’d been given a lifeline - If I could just get it back, then I’d have you back . . . And maybe then you’d love me again. I know it was stupid and selfish, but that was all I wanted - I ignored all the risks, every time someone brought up what could happen if you got it back I just blocked it out, all I cared about was getting _my_ Sam back. Sometimes did feel a passing guilt for just bailing on Lisa and Ben like I did, but she wasn’t stupid, she knew I didn’t love her - and she knew that she deserved to find someone who did. She moved on because unless I had you, really had you, I never would’ve. I don’t blame her, it wasn’t fair on her, it was a relief when Cas drained her memories of me, at least now she has a chance to start again, now she isn’t . . . stuck waiting for me, knowing that she’ll only ever be second best. Sam I swear to you on everything I have that you are the only person I have ever and will ever love - I know that the past few months haven’t exactly been easy, and it’s been difficult for you to see it . . . But I just need you to trust me when I say they have no bearing on how I feel for you. I promise that everything will make sense soon, just not yet. All I’m asking you to so is trust me Sammy. Can you do that?”

 

Looking into the pleading pools of Dean’s eyes Sam allowed himself to believe that all he had said was the truth. So it was with was with new-found happiness that Sam sealed his answer simply with a nod and a kiss.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The next week seemed to pass in a blur of bliss for Sam. Every morning he was awoken by breakfast in bed and declarations of love, the days were spent travelling to any destination Sam desired and the nights . . . Well let’s just say that Dean’s new-found flare for romance hadn’t done anything to sway his usual passion in the bedroom. Animalistic would probably be the best way to describe it.

 

So all in all Sam was in very high spirits and more positive about the state of his and Dean’s relationship than he had been in months. Yet, even with all the unexpected surprises Dean had sprung on him in the past seven days, Sam was still not entirely prepared for the sight that greeted him when he returned to their hotel room after Dean that evening. The room was dark, the only lighting seeming to come from the candles spread out throughout the room. There were rose petals on the bed and floor and most notably in the space between the bad and T.V. there now sat a table set for two. Breaking out of his initial shock Sam smiled to himself and walked into the room fully, letting the door close behind him. After calling his brother’s name and receiving no response Sam walked out onto the balcony looking out over the last dying reds of the sunset. It was as he was taking in this view that familiar music began to play from inside the hotel room and an even more familiar voice began to sing in time.

 

“ _Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am home again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am whole again._

 

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am young again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am fun again.”_

 

As he sang Dean had begun to get closer to Sam until he was holding onto the younger man from behind just in time to direct the chorus into his ear.

 

“ _However far away,_

_I will always love you._

_However long I stay,_

_I will always love you._

_Whatever words I say,_

_I will always love you;_

_I will always love you.”_

 

Dean began to sway them in time to the music as he sang.

 

“ _Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am free again._

_Whenever I'm alone with you,_

_You make me feel like I am clean again._

 

_However far away,_

_I will always love you._

_However long I stay,_

_I will always love you._

_Whatever words I say,_

_I will always love you;_

_I will always love you.” ***_

 

As the song came to a close and the music faded Dean pressed a loving kiss to Sam’s throat and turned him in his arms before placing another on his lips.

 

“I didn’t think you knew any Cure songs Dean.”

 

“ I didn’t, but I know you like them so I learned it special - just don’t expect me listening to you Emo music to turn into a regular thing.”

 

“The Cure isn’t Emo Dean”. Sam protested.

 

“So you say.” There was laughter in Dean’s voice as he lead Sam back inside and to the table set out for them.

 

It was halfway through the meal that Sam decided it was time to put the matter of Dean’s past chilly behavior to rest once and for all.

 

“Dean, I know you asked me to trust you and I do, I really do . . . But you never did tell me why you went arctic on me . . .”

 

Sighing Dean abandoned his own meal before trying to grasp for the words to answer Sam’s question.

 

“I had this whole speech planned out, but you always were an impatient one Sammy . . . Sam - you once told me that you knew me better than anyone, that the dickish way I was acting before my deal with Lilith came due was exactly how I acted when I was terrified. So why didn’t you pick up on the fact that how I’ve been acting these past few months is exactly how I reacted back then.”

 

“Because you don’t have a demon deal hanging over your head . . . Because your not dying - oh god, you’re not are you?!”

 

“What? No, Sammy I’m fine I swear. But I was scared - terrified actually, and I still am.”

 

“Scared of what Dean?”

 

“Your reaction.”

 

“My reaction to what - you haven’t done anything stupid have you?”

 

“No, but I might be about to. If you say no then I’m never gonna live it down.”

 

“Dean, what the hell are you talking about?”

 

Instead of answering Dean got up from his seat and went down on one knee in front of a stunned Sam. Pulling a Silver Ring suspiciously similar to the one Dean always wore out of his pocket he began to speak.

 

“Sammy, I’ve loved you from the moment you were born and as the years went on that love changed into something deeper. Somewhere along the line you stopped being just my little brother and became my everything. People say that that real hallmark card, forever kind of love doesn’t exist, but it does Sammy - and that’s what we have. No matter what happens between us we always find our way back to each other and no matter what happens in the future there’s only one thing I’m certain of, and that’s the fact that I don’t ever want to lose you. Now you know that I’m no good at this emotional sentimental stuff, so before I say anything else to embarrass myself can you just put me out of my misery and tell me - will you marry me?”

 

Stunned into silence Sam sat for a moment or two until Dean’s words finally fully registered in his mind and he literally flung himself at his brother knocking them both to the floor and covering the older man in kisses, saying ‘yes’ with every one.

 

Bursting into relieved laughter Den breathed out:

 

“Well thank god for that! Get your ass up and get changed.”

 

Pausing his ministrations Sam looked at his brother confused.

 

“Into what? Where are we going?”

 

“The suit I got for you, gotta spruce up for the wedding. We’ve got an hour tops before we need to be down in reception - the registrar’s coming specially as a favour and trust me when I say he’s the kind to get pissed if we’re late.”

 

“Registrar?”

 

“Yeah, I helped him with a haunting back when you were at Stanford, he owes me one. Come on Sam, who else is gonna knowing marry two brothers - although we’re gonna have to give him fake ID obviously so this all looks perfectly legal . . .”

 

“Wait. We’re getting married - tonight? You planned the whole thing before you even asked me? What the hell Dean?”

 

“Surprise.”

 

With that Dean wandered into the bathroom before Sam could say another word.

 

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

 

The ceremony was small and intimate, after all they didn’t have all that many friends left to invite, but even so as they stood and said their vows to each other, promising fidelity and love forever, Sam could honestly say that he had never been happier in his entire life. Things were finally going to be o.k. and that knowledge was incredible.

 

All too soon it was over and as the hurriedly put together reception got into full swing and Dean dragged him onto the floor for their first Dance (Metallica of course) Sam knew there was nowhere else in the world he’d rather be.

 

‘ _So close, no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_and nothing else matters_

 

_Never opened myself this way_

_Life is ours, we live it our way_

_All these words I don't just say_

_and nothing else matters_

 

_Trust I seek and I find in you_

_Every day for us something new_

_Open mind for a different view_

_and nothing else matters_

 

_never cared for what they do_

_never cared for what they know_

_but I know_

 

_So close, no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_and nothing else matters_

 

_never cared for what they do_

_never cared for what they know_

_but I know_

 

_Never opened myself this way_

_Life is ours, we live it our way_

_All these words I don't just say_

 

_Trust I seek and I find in you_

_Every day for us, something new_

_Open mind for a different view_

_and nothing else matters_

 

_never cared for what they say_

_never cared for games they play_

_never cared for what they do_

_never cared for what they know_

_and I know_

 

_So close, no matter how far_

_Couldn't be much more from the heart_

_Forever trusting who we are_

_No, nothing else matters’ ****_

 

And as the final notes died down and Dean leaned in to whisper in his ear “when the world finally does end, I won’t regret a single moment spent with you. I love you Sammy.” Sam finally, undoubtedly, unequivocally knew that he was and would always be loved, demon’s be damned.

 

 

END

**Author's Note:**

> * From the season 3 episode 'Dream a Little Dream of me'.  
> ** All of my love by led zeppelin  
> *** Lovesong by The cure  
> **** Nothing else matters by Metallica
> 
> A/N 3: Hope you liked it. The new chapter of Bitter Trust will hopefully be up some time this week. Please remember to review. Thanks for reading. :)


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